Dear Thirteen-Year-Old Al,
Congratulations for having lived past your thirteenth birthday.
You're going to be an adult in a few years and I feel it’s my duty, as your wise, old self to warn and prepare you for the long road you will embark on soon. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I made. It’s going to be a long and confusing road, so you better buckle up. It won’t be a walk in the park, I assure you, but it won’t be all gloom and doom either. You’ll have tons of crazy, fun times, yes, but there will be those unavoidable moments that you will stop and feel lost. You’ll get hurt and confused. Despite this, you have to remember to keep on going. Time is the most valuable resource you have and you can never have enough or too much of it. If I rant too much please bear with me, I'm old. I’m doing this for your own good. I have so many things to tell you and warn you about, that putting all of them in this letter will be impossible. I’ll try to put the most important things here. Remember that it is because I love you that I’m doing this. I hope you'll pick up a thing or two from what I’m about to tell you, so here goes...
1. Young Al, familiarize yourself with as much house chores as possible. I know you’re the youngest in the family and you’re used to all your older siblings doing the chores for you but time will come that they will have families of their own and you will be left to fend for yourself. And you’re not rich noh! So always bear that in mind. Eventually, your family will face hard financial times and you will have to let go of your house helps. It’s a good idea to start off and be familiar with how the rice cooker. You can also ask your mom how to properly do laundry (i.e. what to wash first, how long to wash the colors versus the whites, etc.) since you don’t want getting your favorite colored sweaters bleached by mistake. Also, befriend the clothes iron while you’re young. Know the proper way of holding it and the proper technique on how to use it. When you do a get a burn from ironing clothes, please don’t blame the iron. It has nothing to do with your clumsiness. It’s a non-living piece of metal so it won’t be fair if you shout obscenities to it as it can’t defend itself. Shouting at it will not make you feel less stupid and the burn hurt any less. And when you have the time, please watch your mom how to fry an egg properly as your fried eggs will look more like "scrambled" and horrendously unappetizing in the future. You will plan to leave home later to become independent, so you better learn how to live on your own as early as now.
2. You probably noticed by now that mom prepares two sets of meals everyday: one greasy, high-protein meals for the "kids" and one veggie-mixed, fish-infused meal for the her and your dad. Since you have very choosy taste buds and temper tantrums when you were little, she never forced you to eat anything you don’t like lest she wants all hell to break lose. You eventually grew up to be a picky eater. Don’t be like that, please. It’s so unbecoming. Eat what is served at the table and what you’re parents are having. Those foods are healthy. Let your palette taste "exotic" things like shrimp, squids and big leafy vegetables. Remember the “glow foods” they taught you in Grade 3? Eat a lot of them. You’re probably waiting for your muscles to start bulking up, trust me they never will. Also being exposed to different types of foods will be helpful in the many food trips and dinner invitations that will frequent your adult life. Later on, you will realize that as a dinner guest, you have to feign liking sinigang because you’re not used to eating it at home.
3. You're probably accustomed to people saying how smart you are and that you’ll make it far when you grow up. Do yourself a favor, don’t believe them. You’ll grow up to be an arrogant bastard who believes that being smart is all it takes to achieve and make something out of your life. It’s not true. Being smart is nothing if you don’t work hard. And the truth is kid, you’re not that smart. Your above-average intellect is as common as Mexican soap operas on afternoon TV. When you grow up, you’ll get to see a lot of smarter people than you are and it will make you insecure that you will develop an inferiority complex. Don’t worry, it’s not going to last long because soon after you feel inferior, you’ll fail. So don’t ever for a second put it in your head that you’re smarter than everybody else. It’s better to have this mindset when you’re this young so you won’t be as shocked when you get older. Right now, people may have been telling you you’re a “genius” because there’s not so much of good apples where you come from but believe me, once you step into college you’ll see that you’re just an average Joe. So please, don’t think that you’re above anyone. If someone offers a compliment in that nature, just smile at them and say "thank you". Don’t let it go to your head. And tell yourself that it's OK to fail. You’ll have a lot of them in the future, I promise.
4. When you reach high school, you’ll probably win a couple of essay writing contests which will rekindle your passion to write (you got that from primary school when Miss Panganiban taught journalism, remember?). Cultivate that passion. Write often as you can. Write whatever you feel like writing and write it down somewhere neat. This will serve as practice for the many research papers you’re about to do in college and the many rant blog posts in your soon-to-be-up online journal. Don't worry about grammar as you’ll eventually know how to write more decently come freshman college when you write your very first research paper. Once you reach senior year, your English teacher Ma’am Sioson will ask the class to create a scrap book slash journal about your life, you will get a score of 98 so don’t fret much (you lose two points for being too minimalist in the design, but what the heck). You also might want to keep a diary so that you can remember all the fun and awkward stuff you’ll go through in high school. Well, you’ll eventually create a journal but you’ll regret for not starting it sooner as high school will come to pass you in a blur (say except for the retreat letters your friends will give you and a few Kodak moments). You see, you’ll have to wait for a few more years before camera phones hit Philippine market and even so, you'll only able to buy one of those when you're working. So keep as many high school memorabilias as you can and make memories. You’ll have a blast remembering how awkward you were once you become an adult.
5. Speaking of school, because of your decent grades, you’ll probably be accepted into a top university. Again, don’t let it go to your head. Since you love Biology you’ll probably want to become a doctor. That’s alright. Being a doctor is a noble profession but bear in mind that before you can become a doctor you have to have a pre-med course first. And pre-med courses often require Math and Physics so don’t be naive to think that it’s all about sciences. Being a doctor means you also have to know dosages and calibrations and stuff so please pay attention to your math. I know you hate numbers and pie charts make your head scream, but you have no choice. Come senior year, it will feel that you haven’t learned anything from your math teacher Ma’am Milad since she speaks in octaves only dogs can hear. Ask her questions if you need to. If you still don’t get what she’s talking about, do some extra reading. You’ll graduate high school with no clear cut knowledge on the difference of sine, cosine and tangents. It will save you later on when you take Math 17. If you’re not careful enough, Math 17 will be your worst enemy. As you’ll eventually know, it will dictate the course of your college life. And try to avoid the habit of procrastinating as early as now. If it will help you focus, make a list of things to do. Stick to that schedule, even if it kills you. This will be helpful during the sleepless review nights in store for you in the future.
6. Also, I want to tell you that it’s OK to not befriend everybody in high school. I get it that at this point there is a need for you to “belong”. Everybody goes through that when they’re growing up. But it doesn’t have to be like that all the time, just be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You do not need to please everybody and you don’t need to force yourself to go to their hang-outs and parties all the time. It’s OK to be an aloof. Those people whom you are trying to impress are jerks and snobs anyway. Once senior year comes, you will find true friends who will stick with you until you grow up. So you can stop following the "popular" kids like a little puppy. Your real friends are going to be those like you who do not fit into a certain clique. I’m not saying that be a snob, I’m just saying that you don’t need to become the Mr. Congeniality of the whole class to find true friends. They will come to you, I swear.
7. I would also suggest that as early as now to really assess what you want in life. It is not enough to know what you’re good at but ask yourself what you really want to do. Find your passion, kid. There will be several episodes that you will find yourself questioning what you really want. It will always lead you to feelings of doubt and believe me, it's an ugly feeling You’ll spend countless lazy afternoons and sleepless nights thinking about this. So as early as high school, be definitive in what you want to do when you grow up. It will save you all those wasted time. In a few years when you’re 24, you’ll watch the film Schlinder’s List and you will be moved by this film so much (yes you’ll cry, so bring some tissue) that you will decide you want to do something meaningful as a career. Something that makes you help people directly and improve their lives. Come to think of it, you might want to watch Schlinder’s List now so you’ll have this motivation early on. And you also might want to consider putting in Social Work or Community Development in the course category when you fill-out the UPCAT form, just in case.
8. Speaking of financial constraints earlier, there will come a point that your two eldest sisters will lose their jobs and that will affect the family’s financial stability big time. So please don’t abuse them for money too much. Be frugal. Ask only when absolutely necessary. They also have needs of their own. Their jobs won’t last forever, you know. Don’t throw a temper tantrum when they can’t give you what you want, when you want it. Don’t force them or guilt them to buying you things you want but really don’t need. I’d like to remind you that you also have this trait of losing interest on something too quickly. When you grow up, you’ll realize that being a spoiled brat is stupid and that it also doesn’t build a sense of character. And tell them to cut down on their credit cards expenses; it will haunt them for a long, long, long time.
9. One day when you reach seventeen, your eldest nephew Jholo will come home crying. I have to warn you about this nephew of yours, he will grow up to be one troublesome kid. But do understand that he’s just a child and all kids are like that, so please be patient with him as much as possible. He’ll come home screaming and shouting while throwing things around. Given his nature, you will assume that he’s having one of his usual tantrums and you will lose your patience and shout at him for being a nuisance. I want to tell you that your nephew got hurt falling from a swing in his school and that he broke his leg. Try your best to avoid spanking him in the rear, this will only make him cry more and he might damage his leg further. He is a child in pain and he is your nephew. I understand that there will be times that you can’t control your temper, but in this case, you have to. Fetch your brother-in-law as soon as possible so that you can have Jholo’s leg casted right away. Don’t worry, his leg will heal in a few weeks but you’ll feel guilty for treating your nephew so cruelly when he needed you the most. And speaking of Jholo, he will grow up to be keen in the sciences, so reading the encyclopedia to him while he’s young actually paid off! Do that with him more often.
10. When you go to college, you will encounter student protests on many things like charter change, women’s rights, educational reform, imperialism and all other political things. You might be preoccupied with your major lessons in chemistry and calculus that you might brush them off. Don’t. Take time to listen to them. You’ll fail most of your calculus anyway so sparing a minute or two to listen to these student protests won’t actually kill you. They may use big words that you haven’t heard of before but at least try to get the gist of what they're saying. You may think that they're just the same crap you see in the evening news. Time will come that everything will make sense and you’ll realize that what they’re shouting about is what happens to the real world. Also, there will be times when your college friends will invite you to the library to study. When you do so, pick up the newspaper and read the actual news and the editorial for crying out loud. Don’t read the comics and lifestyle section right away. Familiarize yourself with the news while you’re young otherwise you’ll grow up without a sense of what’s really going on. You’ll thank me for this later on.
11. Soon enough, you’ll enjoy the fact that you’re going to be earning on your own. Heck, you’ll feel ecstatic that you probably won’t come back to school because of money. But it won’t last forever, kiddo. Don’t be stupid in putting your money in non-important things. Please, I beg of you, learn to save up. There are times that you’ll be quitting your jobs and you’ll need money to survive. Don’t treat your work mates often, as they are earning the same digits as you are. Don’t give in to peer pressure because they have money of their own. They’ll still like you the same even if you don’t treat them. Don’t be too extravagant in your gifts, it’s the thought that counts. One day in the future, you’ll develop a habit of splurging on clothes that don’t really fit you well. In one incident, you’ll buy tons of ill-fitted white polos and long sleeves in Landmark Trinoma (this mall is still under construction but will be done in a couple of years) because you believe that white goes with everything you own. It still does, by the way, but before buying them, have the common sense to try fitting them on first. You’ll come to regret for having bought four good-for-nothing pieces of clothing that cost you half your pay check. Oh and before I forget, also remember that Starbucks is not the only place to buy coffee. Learn to appreciate the value of cheap coffee from convenient stores. You'll learn in college that the chemical structure of the caffeine molecule doesn’t change regardless of the store where you buy it from. You. are.not.rich.period.
12. Dear, don’t quit your jobs too quickly. You have this insane habitof making big decisions without thinking them through. Avoid doing that as much as possible. Remember that all jobs are tough. You’ll eventually feel burned out in your call center job and there are times that you want to throw it all away. Believe me, all it takes is a good night’s sleep and you’ll be energized to face the rest of your work week. Also, don’t be influenced by your work peers too easily. I know you’re close to them and all, but if ever they choose to quit their work because they’re tired of your supervisor, think carefully first before joining the bandwagon. I’m not saying they are bad influences. I’m just reminding you that you’re easily persuaded in nature. Ask if you really want to quit for yourself or because your friends are quitting too. Also, when your supervisor yells at you for no apparent reason even if you think you’ve done your best in a call, just look at her with an indifferent expression. She’s a natural b*tch so don’t let her get to you. Remember that power trippers and bitch bosses are everywhere. I’m telling you now that the world you are about to face is far from perfect. It’s an ugly and evil world, so toughen up.
13. When you reach twenty-two, you’ll have a post-teenage rebellion phase because you will feel you’ve been too good all your life. It's perfectly fine. The point of life anyway is to experience different things, good or bad. You’ll ask your best friend Jet (yes, thankfully he is still your best friend) to come with you to have your ears pierced and he’ll suggest that you two both get a tattoo. It’s a bonding moment that you two will remember for the rest of your lives, so go for it. And if ever you do decide to get a tattoo, please choose a more “tough-looking” pattern. Some of your friends will eventually ask if that tattoo you have is a heart, it’s not. Just don’t pick out the pattern because it’s the first one you like. Go through the whole book and see if they have some other cool and nice-looking patterns you can choose from. It’s not that you will hate your tattoo, it’s just that you’ll wish you could have done better with it. And since you’ll be getting it two inches below your navel, so do shave. Or trim the bushes, whichever you feel like doing down there.
14. As mentioned before, genetics will later on tell you that you’re an ectomorph, meaning you’re naturally thin and it’s hard for you to gain weight even if you feel you’ve eaten a ton. You inherited this from your father’s side together with your flat nose that is oh-so-characteristically Filipino. Don’t hate him though. After all, we can’t choose our parents. And it’s not like he has control over it as well. I know you’re thinking right now that your “skinny phase” will end once you start working and has the money to go to a gym. Well let me tell you now that it will not. You will still be thin. You will feel frustrated most of the times because you can’t seem to find a good piece of clothing that will fit your body type. You will also be self-conscious when you go to Puerto Galera in one of your future barkada outings because you can’t showcase your bony structure at the beach. This will make you miss out on all the fun beach things your friends will do. Kid, it’s OK. Embrace what you have, it may not be a lot but it’s what the universe gave you. Your friends don’t mind anyway. They love the skinny guy that you are. Also, be more active while you’re young. Walk more frequently, engage in physical things like biking and running. Learn to swim. Don’t spend too much time hating the sun. Trust me it will help you once you reach my age.
15. Yes Al, that tiny warm feeling in your shorts when you see topless guys is real. It’s not a phase that you will be able to outgrow. It’s not something that you can deny and shove at the back of your closet. Sorry to ruin it, but your suspicion has been right all along. You are also attracted to guys. Since it will take you a casual one-night stand from a stranger to confirm it, spare yourself from that shame and admit it to yourself earlier. As of this writing, it is still not clear if you’re a 100% homo since you still get turned on (I mean really turned on) by sexy Korean girls so for all we know you could be bisexual. It doesn’t matter anyway. What I want you to understand right now is that you have to acknowledge that you are also attracted to guys. Accept it. Embrace it. It’s normal. Believe me, the earlier you admit it to yourself, the easier your life will be in high school and college. You’ll also save yourself from one embarrassing cab ride when you’re older. I want you to be comfortable in your skin as early as now. Don’t be afraid of what people will think, what they think of you is none of your business anyway. Remember that as long as you’ re not stepping on anybody or maligning anyone’s beliefs, it’s alright. Admitting it now will save you all that confusion and denial drama in the future.
16. On your twenty-fifth birthday, Ate Precy will give you a 320 Gb PlayStation 3 console. This will come as a surprise, I’m sorry for ruining it. Before she sends it over the courier, ask her to purchase another controller. This will save you a lot of anguish when your nephews play the console. Also, the PS3 you’re going to get will have two free games. Ask her not to pick Resistance Two and pick out Gran Turismo instead. Resistance two will be a b*tch to play and you’ll eventually give up gaming for a while because of the frustration this game will bring you. Gran Turismo will be more up your alley. While you appreciate games Al, let me remind you that you’re not a serious gamer, and that’s fine. Your not born with the gaming chromosome. Just make sure to ask her to pick out an easy game for you to try out first. My advice to you is, if you really want to be a decent player, be familiar with games that will come your way as much as possible. I’m not saying be addicted to them, I’m just suggesting that you try them out. Play Diablo and War Craft instead of too much Battle Realms. Practice Counter Strike with a real player, not bots. Don’t be afraid if others will make fun of your lack of skills; believe me, it's a lot better to be branded a noob in your teens rather than in your adult years.
17. Before I wrap things up, I just want to advise you on some smaller stuff. Travel a lot and familiarize yourself with malls, you’ll get lost a few times in the metro. In senior year, your class field trip will be in Enchanted Kingdom, don’t ride the Space Shuttle as you are deathly afraid of heights. You’ll come to regret riding it as you’ll be so sick right after that you’ll miss out on the fun of going to other rides. You’ll also develop a fever because of it and miss school for a couple of days. So don’t ever attempt to ride that mechanical hell. Also, learn how to use chopsticks. See, when in freshman college, you will eat in Tokyo Tokyo together with your whole block and you will find yourself to be the only one using a spoon and a fork. Your blockmate Don has to teach you how to use chopsticks, it’s embarrassing. Also, don’t buy Robin Cook books too much, you’ll easily lose interest in them. When you’re old enough to drink, never ever drink Red Horse Strong Ice straight (meaning without ice) on an empty stomach. The same goes for San Mig Light. The golden rule is to eat before drinking. You’ll save yourself from the embarrassment of puking on a jeepney one drunken afternoon.
I know you have an impatient nature, so I will wrap things up here. This is already a long list I must admit, and given your easily-distracted nature, I know you won’t be able to finish reading this in one sitting. That’s OK, you can have as many breaks you want. But please, do make sure to finish reading this as this letter will help you a lot in the long journey ahead of you. It’s impossible for me to warn you about everything, so you will have to stumble on a few things on your own. I hope that with your newfound wisdom, you will be able to make better judgment and better choices. And I hope that you will be able to have fun as much as I have, hopefully more.
Remember kid, always keep on going.
I love you.
And always remember to wear clean underwear.
See you at the crossroads,
Twenty-five year-old AL
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