ALPOTICISMS: 100 Posts of Mental Solitude

It surprises me how I’ve become so dependent on technology to pass the time. Power has been out since 7 o’clock yesterday morning because of typhoon Pedring. The good thing about my cellphone, my ipod and my netbook being totally battery-drained is that I get to do more manual things like writing and reading. It’s torture to not be able to go online or watch movies. Without electricity and with nothing to do, time passes so painfully slow. From this whole ordeal, I realized I can’t live without technology. I love the rainy weather but I absolutely hate power outages.

I never thought that I’ll be able to see my 100^th post on this blog. Yet here I am writing through pen and paper under a candlelit stormy evening. Rest assured that such romanticized style of writing is not to commemorate the 100^th post occasion. The ghastly arms of our wall clock are saying it's twenty-five minutes after three in the morning. And I’m here writing in cursive at the back of old scratch papers trying to pass time. I figured that rather than die of boredom, I’d better do something productive.

And with not so much to do as to sit around in darkness, I decided to write.

I’ve been looking forward to my 100^th post eversince I began consolidating my writing efforts here. To me, reaching the 100^th mark is to be celebrated a milestone. For someone who is poor at keeping commitments, being able to sustain something this long is a really big accomplishment. And given my easily-distracted nature, being able to write here at least once a week is already a feat. Though I attempted to write everyday, I just couldn’t. I honestly tried but my creative juices don’t come from a magic well and there are other things that sometimes need my attention. I admit that. But at least I try to.

I also don’t consider this as a legitimate blog. I prefer to categorize this more of an online journal. For me, blogs are supposed to have a central theme that revolves around it. They are often times commercial and monetized endeavours. And they have to be consistent when it comes to posting. By those two criteria alone, this is far from a blog.

I’m also quite uneasy telling people that I’m a writer or I blog as a hobby. I don’t consider myself a serious writer and I don’t certainly consider myself good at writing. Writing for me is just, well, writing. It comes naturally. I write like everybody does. I commit grammar mistakes all too often. I stop when I can’t think of anything. I write whenever I want to.

That is to say that I don’t dislike writing or think of it as a chore. In fact, writing has helped me express what I can’t say verbally. There are times when I struggle what to say to a person face-to-face but I can easily string up words with the exact same thought and write them on paper. As much as I want to say that I love writing or it’s my passion to write, I feel that I don’t. Writing is not something entirely separate for me to love. It’s just part of who I am.

This site is not my very first attempt at writing or keeping an online journal. In fact, the very post here is a poem I wrote on a different website when I was still in freshman year of college. Some of the earliest posts here were from my Friendster and multiply blogs which are now long gone. I realized later on that it would be a good idea for consistency’s sake (and because of my sometimes obsessive compulsive nature) to put all my writings under one bucket, so to speak. The first few posts here were just copied from their original sources and then date-adjusted to when they were published on that particular site for consistency. I only started writing in blogger in 2006 when I was in junior year college but the dates show 2004 as the earliest. Thanks to one of blogger’s features that enable you to schedule and adjust the dates of your posts. What a nifty trick!

Through pages and pages of inane ramblings I’ve written here, I couldn’t help but think how everything around me has changed and how I have changed over the years. From love struck teen to a struggling student. This site also grew witness to my early days as a call center virgin to a gay man in full bloom. It is here were I recounted tales about my wild post-teen rebellious phase. I also wrote about my vices and my frustrations.

Aside from the many rants I have here, the site has become my personal greeting card for the many birthday greetings I had for my friends including a birthday tale of my own. It has also become a personal column of my many political ramblings. This site has become a travel blog, an events critique, a review on Kpop songs and movies among others. It hosted many of my failed attempts at poetry. There was a time when it became an art portfolio as well. Lately, it has become a compilation of ill-fated love tales and some short stories that come into mind.

Though this blog is far too simple compared to others out there, I am definitely proud of what it has become throughout the years. It’s definitely one thing I consider to be an accomplishment. It may not have sponsors or advertisements. It may not generate a lot of traffic. It may not have a wide readership (I’m surprised to actually have three followers here) aside from my circle of friends. But it has become and still continues to be an extension of who I am.

And with that, I’d like to say congratulations to ALPOTICISMS for reaching the 100^th mark.

To many more years of random rants and pointless raves!