Why I Say Yes To Divorce

While reading my daily dose of news, I came across one article that quoted Representative Rufus Rodriguez of Cagayan de Oro on the legalization of divorce:

 “[If divorce is legal] Children will grow up with only one parent. That’s the worst punishment we can give to our children.”

It is in fact a heartless punishment to let a child growp up with only one parental figure. Kids should be reared and nurtured by two people: primarily, a father and a mother. That’s how it's always been and that’s how it should be.
Dads are supposed to teach their sons how to be “the man of the house”, how to fix things and how to play ball. Mothers on the other hand, are supposed to warn their daughters about boys, teach them make-up skills and have the talk with them when their monthly “visitor” first start to arrive. This should be done under one roof, under one family. It’s the natural law of human nature. And according to our parish priests, it’s also how God wants it. I can’t imagine the horrors and the psychological repercussions a child must go through, if he or she has to go on in life with only one person to nurture his or her growth.

Going back to Representative Rodriguez’s comment, I think that the worst punishment we can ever give our children is not for them to grow up with one single parent.  It is to have them grow up in a home where lying and denial is rampant; to live under false pretences that their parents are still together because of the unconditional love they have for each other. It is a cruel chastisement to have children live under a lie. The worst punishment we can ever give to our kids is to let them come home every night to screamings while their dads beat the life out of their mothers. No, what's worse is to let a child come home again the next day and have him see the same cycle over and over again because his mom doesn't have the choice to divorce and be free from an abusive husband. Because priests say divorce is a sin. And moms and dads are supposed to be together at all costs, even if it kills them. Because priests say couples should make things work, they should compromise. In an ideal world, compromise would suffice; but we all know that world we live in is far from perfect. It is filled with drunk, abusive husbands and battered, silenced wives. Conversely, it is filled with unfaithful, cheating wives and oblivious, overworked husbands. What about them? What about their kids?  Should we force these couples to stay together and compromise to death?
More importantly, should we let their kids suffer in silence in their make believe concept of a happy family?

We also have to remember that not all couples are really compatible with each other. When their continuous efforts to compromise and the attempts to settle their differences fail, the only rational thing to do is to go on their separate ways. This in my opinion is not a selfish act but an action essential to spare their children from the unnecessary distress their irresolvable incompatibility would bring to their kids’ lives. The thing about divorce is while it does serve as an “easy way out” for most couples, oftentimes the “easy way out” is the only logical and humane way for some to still make things work for the benefit of the children involved. I believe that divorced people can still be good parents to a child even if they’re not living together under the false assimilation of the Family Code. As long as there is a continuous effort on both divorce’s to meet their children’s needs on the physical and emotional level, it is plausible for their kids to have a normal, happy family life. Even when mom and dad live on two different houses.

All in all, when we air our opinions about divorce, we should always put our kids in the forefront and consider what they really need.  It is after all, the children who suffer the most in the end. We have to ask ourselves: which is the kinder thing to do to our kids? Should we force ourselves to compromise to the point of killing each other in the process? Or should we live separately, harmoniously while we collectively put effort on how to raise our kids? If we do decide to stay together with our spouses even if we no longer love them, that is to say live under a lie, we better ask ourselves: are we setting a good example to our kids? Is lying to one’s self the core family value we want to instil on them and want for them to perpetuate when it’s their turn to have their own family?

Before we echo “amen” to a “No to Divorce” policy, think.

A child’s welfare is always hanging in the balance.

Image courtesy of http://www.merchantcircle.com