The Great(?) Depression of 2012

Ich hasse dich, Christian und Olli!

Curse you Luke and Noah!

It’s been more than a year. And  I’d be lying to myself if I didn't say how much I miss that feeling.

I’ve been feeling like I’m in a rot these days. I don’t know.  Something unknown has triggered something within me and I feel all mopey and depressed. Being depressed for no concrete reason is stupid, I know. But I can’t help feeling down these past few days.

Maybe it’s because of all these stories I’ve been reading. Stupid romantic stories. I’ve always been the cynic type-of-guy in front of everyone –cool, collected and  usually the first one to give a sign of reproach and disgust when someone shares their mushy story. Bleh. I mean, I can give the “awww...” expression coupled with the puppy dog eyes that say how cute it is when someone tells me the lovey dovey details of their lives. But I always give them a hard time after that because of it. I guess  it’s easier to be that skeptic person and laugh at how cheesy one can get when he’s in love than to cover how much a sentimental guy I am deep inside. Poor, hopless romantic sap, yes. Call it my defense mechanism.

Stupid gay love stores and their evil plots of happy endings! Wretched fantasies are what they are.

The Countdown

You will receive a phone call. And after 7 days, you will see the ring.

The countdown begins.

And I am reminded of all the unconscious fears that I have tried so best to bottle up inside me:

-The fear of flying
-The fear of heights
-The fear of being lost in a foreign city
-The fear of being kidnapped and killed in a foreign city
-The fear of failure

and the list goes on.

I am being mellow dramatic, I know. Still, the possibility of dying in a fiery and horrendous plane crash is still (literally) on the horizon. Shudders.

Aside from the panic and fear building inside me, I also can't help but feel stupid about the whole situation. I am not the traveler kind and my idea of a great vacation is staying home and watching the Discovery Channel. So I don't have any idea on what to pack, what to do in the airport, how to check-in the hotel, and so on. Oh well, at least I can Google those.

Dear universe, I implore you. I've never been so nervous in my whole life.

Crossroads

I actually don't know where this is going, but I'm planning to stick around to find out...

Things have been so crazy lately that I don't even know where to begin. I write work emails everyday but it's been ages since I actually wrote something. And yes, I sort of miss it; but given the amount of work I've had lately, I can't seem to find enough time to put all the craziness into writing.

I say "craziness" is an understatement; or being overly dramatic. I honestly don't know. I feel crazy about everything there is about my new work. Oh yes, work! Well, I'm happy to say that I no longer contribute to the country's continuous economic downfall and I can proudly complain how BIR unreasonably deducts outrageous amounts of taxes from my paycheck. This means that I'm a full-pledged working individual. My mom will be so proud.