Mr. paypALicious

May nakatuwang pangyayari ngayong araw at sa di sinasadyang pagkakataon ay tinanganghal si AL bilang (tentenenen!drum roll please) 2nd Runner Up for the First Ever Search for Mr. and Ms. Paypalicious 2008.
Initial Reaction: HUWAAAAAAATTTTTTT? Wat da ep!!!

Pre-Peagent Eklat: Ang contest na ito ay pakulo ng lecheng Fun Club na walang alam kung hindi mang-istorbo ng mga agents sa floor. Every team sa floor plus the Senior Agent team would a have a male and female representative to well, represent (duh!) their teams. Initially, our reps should have been Shey and Congressman, pero sa kasawiang-palad, nag-resign na si Kongressman at nangibang-bansa so, laking gulat ko nalamang nang ang pangalan ko ang sinend ng team as repsentative. Ayoko talaga pramis! Over my dead malnourished body noh! Eventually napapayag din ako ni Boss at ng team na sumali. Partner ko nga pala si Lyn, na super hot paypalicious mama ng team (yeahbah!). Akala ko naman voting lang siya but to my dismay, may pageant pala siyang kasama. Punyemas talaga. Dapat nga naka-leave ako kanina kaya lang hindi in-approve ni boss kasi nga may pageant. Ayus lang kasi in-UPTO niya naman ako ng Thu-Fri shift ngayong week at off ko ng Sat Sun, so ayus lang!!! hehehe.

Pageant Eklats: Ang aga ng call time, 3:30 am don't they know that my shift won't start until 5:00 am pa kaya at di siya OT! In the spirit of Filipino Time I decided to be fashionably late. Umayon naman sa akin ang universe dahil 30 minutes akong naghintay ng tricycle na masasakyan papuntang bayan, good thing mabilis yung bus at jeep na nasakyan ko papuntang office. Boss was incessantly calling me, pero the hell bahala sila! Sapilitan naman ito. At ayun nga, pagdating ko sa floor ang mga contestants ay todo get up! May costume at theme pa silang nalalaman; may futuristic, may cowboy, may goth, may parang prom lang. As in to the highest max talaga! At ang suot ni AL: Long sleeves na tinupi, maong pants, sneakers, that's it. So kailangang may theme kayo ng partner mo, and since wala kaming maisip ni Lynn we decided to be...CALL CENTER AGENTS (complete with headsets) Oha! Pinag-isipan talaga ang theme, di bale dadaanin na lang namin sa Face Value, Projection at Confidence. (hell yeah!)

Ayun! Kailangan pa lang rumampa rampa. Adik. Rumampa si AL, dinaan sa kapal ng mukha at apog pero natutuwa naman talaga ako kasi nung kami na yung lumabas, ang lakas ng audience impact hahaha! Ganun talaga! Audience impact pa lang panalo na. Natabig ko pa nga yung blinking lights, kasi naman paharang-harang siya. Mala-Miriam Quiambao at project pa din kahit napahiya. Anyways I think nakadagdag yun sa confidence points ko. (weh!)

Imagine my surprise when they called me as one of the five finalists and by the way more than 16 pairs nga pala yung kasali kasi maraming team sa floor. Aba! clueless pa kunwari nung tinawag! Walanghiya!!! Nadaan sa "kapal muks" talaga.Leche! Hindi naman ako gwapo tulad nila at ni wala ngang ka-effort effort on my part to dress up. Also, yung long sleeves na sinuot ko super lukot na lukot na, bwahaha hinabol na ako ng plantsa. Sayang di kasama si Lyn sa finalists pero ayus lang yun.

At ayun pa! May Question and Answer with the Vendor Manager, none other than Mr. Exx Maramara. Ang tanong kay AL: (I'll try to remember kasi may memory gap na ako)

HOST: How do you feel right now?
AL: Nervous and scared.
Boss Exx: My question for you AL, is what does it take to be Mr. Paypalicious?
AL: HUH! *clears throat* good question sir. (aba kumakambyo pa si AL). What does it take to be Mr. Paypalicious? Well to be Mr. Paypalicious you have to embody the word PayPal. You have to think eat and breathe PayPal. You also have to be confident, even if you don't have the looks to be Mr.Paypalicious you should have the confidence (patama sa sarili yan! ahahaha). Just like in your calls, even if you do not know what your saying to the customer you have to be confident about it to make a good impression. And also you should always be on top of your game. That's what it takes to be Mr. Paypalicious.

(Mental notehabang sumasagot: Syemay ang daming tao! Ayokong tumingin kay Boss Exx. Kinakabahan ako. Sige go lang ng go wag kang titigil! Bawal mag-tagalog. Nakakagutom. Inaantok na ako. Petix time 'to AL, mas ok 'to kaysa mag-calls)

After the Q&A gusto kong magtago sa cave at lamunin na ng lupa.

Siguro, nabaduyan yung mga judges sa overdressing part ng ibang contestants kaya napili nila ako kasi naman, as in parang normal get-up lang: walang effort. At mataas ang percentage ng voting: 40%. Nagbigay si boss ng P500 PHP kaya ayos at naghuhulog kami everyday for the funds and for that puwersahan ito. And syempre sino ba namang hindi mamamangha sa aking pang-Ms. Universe na sagot? World Peace. At iyun nga in fairnes nanalo si AL. Nakakahiya naman kung ako pa yung Mr. Paypalicious? Hindi ako gwapo saka ibigay na ang price sa agent na super karir sa get-up. So 2nd Runner-up would do. Paano pa kaya kung nag-effort ako at nag-preppy look? Malamang first na ako hehehe.

Ang saya ng experience na ito. Most embarrassing moment sa aking slum book pero deep inside nakakatuwa siya. Natuwa din naman ako sa suporta ng aking Boss! Kahit bugnutin siya I saw the effort and her support to Lyn and me. Yung mga team mates ko na nasa 9th talagang nag-unbreak pa at after voice para i-cheer kami. Si Ate precious, si Gem saka si Rio. Si Mareng Genah talagang siya pa nagtiklop ng long sleeves ko. At ang aking iba pang team mates na super suporta, salamat talaga. (Yuck! parang thank you speech)


isa lang ang masasabi ko:


Bwahahahaha! I'm so Hot! Paypalicious hot!


Side Note: Pag-uwi ko feeling gwapo pa din ako kaya lang nung nasa tricyle na ako. nahulog yung ipod ko at since may butas yung tricyle na sinasakyan ko, swak siya sa road. Talagang umuulan pa at bumaba ako sa tricyle just to get my ipod. Buti na lang walang ibang dumadaan kung hindi, wasak wasak ang aking mahal na eehphod! Although walang scratch ang LCD at likod dahil may protector may chipped surface na siya sa gilid. Damaged na siya waaaah pero fully functional pa din. Grabeh! Ikamamatay ko kapag may nangyari sa kaniyang masama.
(panisinin ang chipped surface sa picture)


this is Paypalicious AL
signing off...


(wow! feelingero talaga)

A Day in the life of AL

10 minutes 'til log-in time at heto si AL aligaga dahil ngayon lang nangyari ang 10 minutes pa lang eh hindi pa siya nakakalog-in. Usually he comes in 1 hour early and 30 minutes before avail time his tools are all set-up. He likes his efficiency, his tactic and methodology and those things are also what his supervisor likes about him. Pero ngayon, nalate siya. For some bizarre reason nalate siya at nasira ang perfectly planned itinerary niya. First he woke up late, then tumirik yung jeep na sinakyan niya papauntang bayan (nyeta! bakit pa kasi nag-jeep) and then pagdating sa bayan walang bus. Weird, he thought at pagdating sa Cubao it took him amost 15 minutes to ride an Ayala-bound aircon bus. These are the things he does in order to get to work. Some people may cringe at the very thought of commuting on a public vehicle in the wee hours of the morning, pero sanay na si AL. For some weird f*cking reason the universe conspired on making him miserable that day. Pero cool lang siya. He decided long ago, to just let everything take it's own course, be the water that flows with the tide. Syempre hindi dapat mawala ang composure kahit hectic, ika nga grace under pressure. One of his philosophies is to look composed and calm in the midst of calamity, which is usually everyday.

Feeling ni AL unkept nanaman ang kanyang buhok, pero what the heck! Never namang nag-matter sa kanya ang kanyang indifferent look. Quick "hi's" sa mga team mates at naghanap ng available station sa bay. Maraming nagtanong, anong nangyari sa kanya kahapon and then naalala niya na umabsent pala siya kahapon. At syempre, iba ang alam ng madla sa totoong nangyari at totoong dahilan why he decided to stain his perfcet attendance. Again, what the heck. Punched in in time, good he thought. At least no further salary deductions. Pull up citrix...breathe. An error message popped up. He's used to these kinds of things and his analytical mind prompted him to do the next logical thing...try it again. After several failed attempts naka-connect diyan. Punyetang server talaga. And then here comes Zarah na may daladalang 3 bagong team mates.

"Ayan si Al! Diyan kayo lumapit", then Zarah left. Zarah talaga...adik.

A confused look struck on Al's face. It took his neurons at least 10 seconds to process the train of thought. He introduced himself simply as Al, their team mate. Their immediate supervisor is on rest day so walang mag-aasist sa kanila. The new team mates introduced their names but as usual selective ang memory ni AL, in short hindi niya naalala ang names nila. He would just ask for their names and log ins later on, ang importante ay maka login sila dahil magfa-5 o'clock na. Mga kawawang nilalang, unang araw sa floor at walang supervisor. At dahil the team looks up to AL, he decided to switch to his valiant knight-in-shining armor, yun bang tipong there to save the day. At ayun nga, walang pakialam kahit hindi muna siya maka-log in. Naghanap ng 3 available stations malapit sa bay. Checked if the Avaya phones are suitable for NA use, tokens, headsets...hayz. Kahit hectic Al enjoys the rush of helping friends in need. He likes the feeling of being looked up to as someone who's mature and responsible and everyone who can count on. Once the new team mates are setteled, he began to think of his own, and like a buzzer beater he scores just in time. Saktong 5 am ang log in. It took him another 10 minutes (lagot sa NR) to pull up the necessary tools to make his 2 monitor screens look like an oversized jigsaw puzzle. Some people find his screen cluttered, but it has been insanely puposeful to him during his stay in PayPal.

Time to take in calls.

"Thank you for calling PayPal! My name is AL. may I have your name please?". He does his everything to lower down his voice during his opening spiel without sounding sleepy or bored. May tendencies kasi na kapag his usual pitch eh mapagod nanaman nang di oras ang vocal chords niya at pumiyok siya sa calls (which happens...a lot) or pagkamalan nanaman siyang babae ng bobong Kanong kausap niya. Blah Blah Blah. He only has to listen to a few keywords and he knows what the customer's problem or what he's yapping about. Click agad sa admin tools to navigate the page. Alam na ang resolution kahit walang kaharap na Knowledge Base. Astig di ba? Sabi nga ni Precious for 5 months magaling na si AL. Marami ding nagsasabing magaling siya sa calls and he has awards and some Kudos to back it up. he just takes every comment in stride since he doesn't want people to think that he's a smart ass. Besides sanay na sanay na siya sa fake humilty routines eversince college. Siya ang walking Kbase, Ambie-kuno, pseudo-SA at CS questions ng team. Kahit mga mas tenured pa sa kanya nagtatanong pa sa kanya at pinipilit siya ng boss niyang mag-apply ng SA Post (Senior Agent). Pero para kay AL, he is still not worthy since he has to surpass his standards he set for himself. U.P. has taught him to surpass the highest of standards which is of himself.

During calls he hears his seat mate Lyn saying profanity to the customer while on mute. natawa siya and he does the same, mas malakas at malutong pa siyang magmura. Isa sa mga traits na gustung gusto ni AL sa sarili niya ay ang kanyang innate talent for obscene language. Walang patumpik tumpik kung magmura ng p*tang ina. Some people cringe but some people like that.

[to be continued]